The June Project 2012

6/1

that the guy was naked at the party was ok

because he was reciting a monologue

and naked actors are ok

even at a party.

6/2

first saw sports reports

showing highlights from last night’s johan santana no-hitter,

the first in mets history,

saw the ball hit over the third base bag,

the ball that was called foul but should’ve been fair for a probable double.

would have been nice if the first no-hitter my team had ever pitched

would have been, well, a no-hitter.

6/3

it’s the easiest email I ever send,

the “hey, here’s your slot in the welcome to boog city festival,

email me back, say everything’s good.”

So all you have to do is say “all is good”

Or “got the email, all set”

Or some variant.

Never get what takes more than that day to send that “all is good,” never.

6/4

cardinals at mets game,

senior stroll day with folks.

i forgot to put lettuce and tomato on our turkey sandwiches at home,

so fill a cardboard four-cup and some food container

with tomatoes and shredded lettuce,

for our three sandwiches

turn my head back,

and mom is grazing at the lettuce with her fingers,

give a lil yell,

get up and get more for our sandwiches,

more for her to graze on.

6/5

i want to hear you play at one of my events,

it’s been so long since i’ve heard you anywhere,

’cause everytime i see you,

someone i don’t see all that very much,

it’s weird how easy it is.

6/6

she gets state funding for her phone

but she can only do it for one phone

she’s got a number to call

but can’t understand them well enough,

so asks me to take care of it.

i try to get a person for a long time,

afraid to make a mistake if i just push buttons.

but it takes a long time,

multiple calls, multiple people,

and they can’t find her in their system at all.

eventually give up,

and push the buttons,

finish it up in two minutes.

6/7

everytime i do a mail merge

to my publishers’ list

i thank the intern

who compiled it

and daniel who got me the intern.

and then i wish for

another intern

who can

go and update it.

6/8

you used to only be able to exit

the back doors of my buildings

but not reenter the same way

a bit of a pain during my 10 years living here,

but i never said a thing.

well a few someones said a few somethings,

and our front/side doors’ key now opens the back doors.

thank you whoever you are.

6/9

little stevie cauthen peaked at 18

winning the triple crown aboard affirmed,

before a 110-race losing streak

and fighting weight

before going to england

where you can ride a bit heavier

and fairing okay.

6/10

(sing)

i remember when i give things,

and i remember when i lend,

so please don’t tell a lie to me

give me back my pretty in pink dvd.

6/11

you should not be allowed to have a child

if you wear your sunglasses

in reverse

on the back of your neck.

6/12

my aunt and uncle,

arriving at the apartment they rented for their vacation,

weren’t used to apartment living since the fifties,

thought the apartment building was too loud,

they weren’t used to an air conditioner that stuck out the window,

the rain made too much noise when it hit against it,

and there was a little excess paint on the floor,

and brooklyn parking was, well, brooklyn parking

so within moments of arriving,

my aunt and uncle decided they couldn’t stay there,

and headed out to my folks in long island,

as my dad researched nearby hotels.

6/13

go to mcc theater group benefit w/berger

in part to benefit mcc,

in part to see new neil labute plays,

in part to hang with berger,

in part to see krysten ritter and emmanuelle chriqui for real.

discover there’s krysten ritter pretty

and there’s emmanuelle chriqui pretty.

6/14

drove my folks and my aunt and uncle to the theater,

headed back and found an unmetered spot on my street,

then drove back and picked them up,

no paid parking, no cab fares.

6/15

dad wants us to take two cars to the free movie

at the elmont library

queen latifah and dolly parton in joyful noise

so there’ll be ore room in the car

sounds like i’m to drive one solo

while folks and my aunt and uncle share the other,

so I stay home.

6/16

my sis and brother

don’t want to be in the same room anymore

so it’s father’s day, day one,

at my brother’s house.

6/17

so it’s father’s day, day two,

at my sister’s house.

And my youngest niece

gives her almost stepdad a like a father card.

6/18

(sing)

tell me once

i’ll make you happy,

tell me once

i swear

but it’s a one-time operation,

a tell me once i’ll make it fine,

don’t report, don’t alert,

please don’t change, don’t divert

there’s just need for the same,

no need for rearrange,

say it once and get it right,

let’s move on

to other fights.

6/19

when i was younger i used to see

every olive stone

every spike lee

every hal Hartley

now it’s every wes anderson

6/20

watching a veronica mars rerun off my parents’ dvr

(soapnet picked up reruns of the now five years off the air show a short time ago)

and it’s revealed her email address is vmars@aol.com

so I shoot a quick email over:

subject: hey

body: hope yre well. :)

6/21

how do you bag on a show,

via text message,

a show you’re headlining

five days before the event

when no one’s died?

6/22

from the time we left my parent’s house

for dinner with sis and her family

35 minutes away

until the time we returned

one dinner at the cheesecake factory later

eight hours had passed,

eight hours.

i can’t even type out any more details,

too painful.

6/23

chinese with wilders

at so far, so good

and it winds up ian’s a pickier eater

than his vegetarian wife and kosher me.

6/24

sometimes i want to mind-erase

so days don’t cue thoughts of you (and you, too)

endings tinge any good thoughts of you

make me, you know, sad.

6/25

i am still watching the movie she's out of my league

everytime it's on

even the edited for basic cable version.

6/26

my mom and sis ask me how many people i’m expecting

after the poet backed out five days before the event

after the musical act backed out the day before the event.

four i told them both,

the new poet,

the new musical act,

the sound man,

and me.

i was wrong,

there were five.

6/27

after a round at the grassroots,

her a salty dog,

a greyhound with salt on the rim,

that she promised to have because of her new dog,

me my usual vodka gimlet,

she was kinda okay,

but just okay.

i walked talking her

to the outdoor cube on st. mark’s place,

and we started pushing it to make it spin, slowly,

before joined by a bunch of young 20s guys,

who help us pick up so much speed

we eventually pull back.

6/28

it’s a dollar each for pepsi family two-liter bottles at the cvs,

five maximum,

i grab some and skip the cashiers,

go to the self-serve checkout machine,

buy five diet pepsi two-liters,

swipe my debit card and finish up,

then scan two diet pepsi wild cherry two-liters

and another diet pepsi,

for a total of eight,

swipe my debit card a second time and finish up.

6/29

call my mom,

the meatloaf that she made me

is in the fridge

freshly thawed

“how long will it last for?”

she thinks and says until monday,

which means i can have pretzels, chips, and dip for dinner tonight,

like i’ve been kinda craving.

6/30

i’m remembering lines from a mandy moore movie,

multiple lines.

some may say that’s a bad sign,

not me.