that the guy was naked at the party was ok
because he was reciting a monologue
and naked actors are ok
even at a party.
first saw sports reports
showing highlights from last night’s johan santana no-hitter,
the first in mets history,
saw the ball hit over the third base bag,
the ball that was called foul but should’ve been fair for a probable double.
would have been nice if the first no-hitter my team had ever pitched
would have been, well, a no-hitter.
it’s the easiest email I ever send,
the “hey, here’s your slot in the welcome to boog city festival,
email me back, say everything’s good.”
So all you have to do is say “all is good”
Or “got the email, all set”
Or some variant.
Never get what takes more than that day to send that “all is good,” never.
cardinals at mets game,
senior stroll day with folks.
i forgot to put lettuce and tomato on our turkey sandwiches at home,
so fill a cardboard four-cup and some food container
with tomatoes and shredded lettuce,
for our three sandwiches
turn my head back,
and mom is grazing at the lettuce with her fingers,
give a lil yell,
get up and get more for our sandwiches,
more for her to graze on.
i want to hear you play at one of my events,
it’s been so long since i’ve heard you anywhere,
’cause everytime i see you,
someone i don’t see all that very much,
it’s weird how easy it is.
she gets state funding for her phone
but she can only do it for one phone
she’s got a number to call
but can’t understand them well enough,
so asks me to take care of it.
i try to get a person for a long time,
afraid to make a mistake if i just push buttons.
but it takes a long time,
multiple calls, multiple people,
and they can’t find her in their system at all.
eventually give up,
and push the buttons,
finish it up in two minutes.
everytime i do a mail merge
to my publishers’ list
i thank the intern
who compiled it
and daniel who got me the intern.
and then i wish for
go and update it.
you used to only be able to exit
the back doors of my buildings
but not reenter the same way
a bit of a pain during my 10 years living here,
but i never said a thing.
well a few someones said a few somethings,
and our front/side doors’ key now opens the back doors.
thank you whoever you are.
little stevie cauthen peaked at 18
winning the triple crown aboard affirmed,
before a 110-race losing streak
and fighting weight
before going to england
where you can ride a bit heavier
and fairing okay.
i remember when i give things,
and i remember when i lend,
so please don’t tell a lie to me
give me back my pretty in pink dvd.
you should not be allowed to have a child
if you wear your sunglasses
on the back of your neck.
my aunt and uncle,
arriving at the apartment they rented for their vacation,
weren’t used to apartment living since the fifties,
thought the apartment building was too loud,
they weren’t used to an air conditioner that stuck out the window,
the rain made too much noise when it hit against it,
and there was a little excess paint on the floor,
and brooklyn parking was, well, brooklyn parking
so within moments of arriving,
my aunt and uncle decided they couldn’t stay there,
and headed out to my folks in long island,
as my dad researched nearby hotels.
go to mcc theater group benefit w/berger
in part to benefit mcc,
in part to see new neil labute plays,
in part to hang with berger,
in part to see krysten ritter and emmanuelle chriqui for real.
discover there’s krysten ritter pretty
and there’s emmanuelle chriqui pretty.
drove my folks and my aunt and uncle to the theater,
headed back and found an unmetered spot on my street,
then drove back and picked them up,
no paid parking, no cab fares.
dad wants us to take two cars to the free movie
at the elmont library
queen latifah and dolly parton in joyful noise
so there’ll be ore room in the car
sounds like i’m to drive one solo
while folks and my aunt and uncle share the other,
so I stay home.
my sis and brother
don’t want to be in the same room anymore
so it’s father’s day, day one,
at my brother’s house.
so it’s father’s day, day two,
at my sister’s house.
And my youngest niece
gives her almost stepdad a like a father card.
tell me once
i’ll make you happy,
tell me once
but it’s a one-time operation,
a tell me once i’ll make it fine,
don’t report, don’t alert,
please don’t change, don’t divert
there’s just need for the same,
no need for rearrange,
say it once and get it right,
let’s move on
to other fights.
when i was younger i used to see
every olive stone
every spike lee
every hal Hartley
now it’s every wes anderson
watching a veronica mars rerun off my parents’ dvr
(soapnet picked up reruns of the now five years off the air show a short time ago)
and it’s revealed her email address is firstname.lastname@example.org
so I shoot a quick email over:
body: hope yre well. :)
how do you bag on a show,
via text message,
a show you’re headlining
five days before the event
when no one’s died?
from the time we left my parent’s house
for dinner with sis and her family
35 minutes away
until the time we returned
one dinner at the cheesecake factory later
eight hours had passed,
i can’t even type out any more details,
chinese with wilders
at so far, so good
and it winds up ian’s a pickier eater
than his vegetarian wife and kosher me.
sometimes i want to mind-erase
so days don’t cue thoughts of you (and you, too)
endings tinge any good thoughts of you
make me, you know, sad.
i am still watching the movie she's out of my league
everytime it's on
even the edited for basic cable version.
my mom and sis ask me how many people i’m expecting
after the poet backed out five days before the event
after the musical act backed out the day before the event.
four i told them both,
the new poet,
the new musical act,
the sound man,
i was wrong,
there were five.
after a round at the grassroots,
her a salty dog,
a greyhound with salt on the rim,
that she promised to have because of her new dog,
me my usual vodka gimlet,
she was kinda okay,
but just okay.
i walked talking her
to the outdoor cube on st. mark’s place,
and we started pushing it to make it spin, slowly,
before joined by a bunch of young 20s guys,
who help us pick up so much speed
we eventually pull back.
it’s a dollar each for pepsi family two-liter bottles at the cvs,
i grab some and skip the cashiers,
go to the self-serve checkout machine,
buy five diet pepsi two-liters,
swipe my debit card and finish up,
then scan two diet pepsi wild cherry two-liters
and another diet pepsi,
for a total of eight,
swipe my debit card a second time and finish up.
call my mom,
the meatloaf that she made me
is in the fridge
“how long will it last for?”
she thinks and says until monday,
which means i can have pretzels, chips, and dip for dinner tonight,
like i’ve been kinda craving.
i’m remembering lines from a mandy moore movie,
some may say that’s a bad sign,